Jeremy's Blog

So, a couple nights ago I was shit on by the two most important people to me. And I snapped. I literally couldn’t take anymore. I really think I temporarily went insane. I wanted to take Jason’s head, and smash his face into a brick wall. But, after all we’ve been through, I couldn’t allow myself to do any physical harm to either of them. So, I did the only thing I could think of. I called John. I pleaded to him to get me out of there, otherwise something bad was going to happen. And I have to say I was surprised. At 2:30 am, he woke up out of a dead sleep to come and get me out of there. I gathered together my laptop and some of my clothes and just left. To John: If you’re reading this, I love you, man. No one on this planet, outside of my parents, has done as much for me as you have. You helped me escape a horrible situation that was going to eat me alive. All I can say is thank you.

I cussed her out before I left… I was so … furious that it was all I could do. As the note says in my previous entry, I was given one week. I don’t care what anyone says. Yeah, I screwed up and ran off at the mouth, but I was damn scared. I didn’t know what to do. But, either way, one week is not enough time to judge how things are going to go. One week was apparently plenty of time for her to judge how much better my best friend would be than me, though. I’d point to her LiveJournal, but the relevant entries are friends-only, so there’s no point. Matter of fact, I’m surprised I’m still on her friends list… Hell, I probably won’t be, after she reads this.

I’ve blocked them both on all my messengers. I don’t want to have anything to do with either of them, ever again. I was used and abused by both of them, and I’ve had it. I won’t take it anymore. Jason’s been doing this bullshit to me since we were younger. Everything I held dear to me he wants to take away. He even took my parents away from me, for a brief point in time. But, I said I won’t screw them over. Oh, boy … Could I. Anyone who really knows me, knows that’s not how I am. Of course, I have to go back to that place to pick up all my personal belongings, and that will probably happen soon. After being away from there and into a place where people really care about me and my well-being, I’ve had a chance to calm down. I feel a lot better, because now that I’m looking in from the outside, I can see exactly what happened. It didn’t have anything to do with me working too much. I’m not to blame for anything. They were both very aware of what they were doing, and I have a feeling it would’ve happened, no matter what I did or tried to do.

So, it’s done. I’m not just done with her, I’m done with him, too. For those of you who are in on the JoS project, it will continue as planned. I’m not going to let this affect it negatively. There will just be one less wizard around the group. Anyway, since I’m at the office, I’ve got some things that need to get done … Not to mention a lot of phone calls to make. Any of you who may be worried about me … Don’t. I appreciate all the support that all of you have given to me, but I’m doing a lot better now. I promise. Sure, it hurts… It’ll be something I won’t forget or get over for a while, but I’ve spent the last couple nights in a home where I actually feel safe and at home. The last couple of days, before I left that damn place, I was sleeping on the floor in the office room. Talk about taken advantage of …

Anyway, that’s enough of this subject. When we go by there, I hope they aren’t there. If they are, they better just leave me the hell alone. That’s all I’ve got to say.